What do all of these thoughts have in common?
- I’m going to wait until I feel more confident to wear my favorite outfit out of the house.”
- “I want to lose 10 pounds before I book that spring break trip.”
- “I’m going to wait until I feel like an ‘expert’ before I start pursuing my dreams of becoming a business owner.”
They are fear-based perfectionism.
Sure, there are some instances where it can be a smart move to wait until things are more ‘in-line’ before going ahead. But as we perfectionists know, there is a fine line between procrastination and waiting until everything is perfect (which in truth, is never) because you can be waiting forever.
So how does perfectionism kill your dreams? By allowing you to put things off.
And continue to put things off. All because you are too frightened that things will not go perfectly if you take a risk.
In the past (and sometimes now), perfectionism pops into my life and it drags me down.
- I don’t feel confident enough or expert enough to post something, start a new group, or even share my experiences because I falsely believe I have not learned enough or matured as much as I think I should have
In reality, if I am actually honest with myself, I have. It is just fear popping up and trying to push me to a place of procrastination and comfort. Anyone who struggles with perfectionism knows that striving to be perfect is not only pointless but exhausting. It takes away from the current successes in your life by making you feel like they aren’t good enough to move forward with.
News flash: You will never feel perfect.
- Things will never be absolutely ‘in-line’.
- There will never be perfect timing.
And continuing to wait for those things (such as losing weight, becoming a more perfect student/employee or even working on yourself until you feel perfect) is a waste of time. Because the odds are, you are never going to feel perfect enough.
It’s a cop out really. One that is disguised as something profound and noble. While yes, perfectionists do achieve great things, they generally are just uncovering the tip of the iceberg of everything they can accomplish.
So how can we move through procrastination, fear and perfectionism into a free-flowing space of love, learning and forgiveness?
Recognize that you are human, because you are. Every single person in the entire world is….you guessed it, human. Everyone makes mistakes, including you. So stop being so hard on yourself for not reaching some unattainable ideal of perfectionism. It’s silly really and ultimately holding you back.
Let your expectations go. The first draft, the first try, or the first experience does not have to be perfect. Let that go. Imagine how much farther along you would be if you just started today instead of continuing to wait until you felt more ready and perfect. No doubt you would be light years ahead already, just by taking action now. Which leads me to the third point.
Take action now. As perfectionists, we get caught up in a whirlwind of expectations and ultimatums. If something isn’t x, y, or z, then it isn’t good enough for a, b, or c. Wrong ladies. Just start. Do you harshly judge other people because they make small mistakes that are hardly noticeable? Probably not. So show some kindness to yourself and stop doing it to yourself. Most people are not going to take time out of their day and purposefully notice how imperfect you are. If anything they will be inspired by you and recognize how they should be taking their own actions because you already have. So take the action and prove to yourself that your best, which although may not be as perfect as you desire, is pretty darn good.
Like what you read? Get access to an entire workbook to guide you to break free from perfection once + for all. Download it below!