Loving ourselves can seem like a daunting + overwhelming task. Where do we even begin + what are some concrete steps to start the self-love journey?
I used to ask myself these questions when I was struggling with truly accepting who I truly was. Living a life based on acceptance instead of fear requires introspection to discover who you are, what you enjoy + what it means to fully love yourself. That’s what these questions are for; a starting place to help you awaken powerful self-love. So let’s begin. Here are 15 questions to ask yourself for radical self-love and acceptance:
1. What does self-love mean?
To begin any journey, it’s important to define what the goal looks like. While I hesitate to say there is an end goal you’ll reach and suddenly feel like you love yourself “the right amount” (because this is generally not how it works), it can be enlightening to discover what really loving yourself even means.
- What is self-love? What does it mean to you?
- What does it look like, feel like, act like?
- Is it honesty, compassion, connection, and authenticity? Or is it movement, thoughtfulness, and introspection?
Self-love is going to mean something different to you than anyone else, which is why it’s so valuable to start off by defining it and looking at all the ways it can be expressed..
2. What do you already love about yourself?
When you think about yourself right now, exactly as you are, what do you already love? Make a list of the things you currently love about who you are. Don’t let your mind wander to things you think you need to change or improve upon yourself to ‘achieve’ self-love. Make sure to think about and include aspects of your personality, your essence, your truth, and your appearance. Don’t leave anything out! It is important not to limit yourself here, just keep listing whatever comes to mind!
3. How do you currently love yourself?
Describe your current self-care routine. Is there anything you do daily that inspires self-love and makes you feel worthy, valuable, and important? Discovering what is already working and seeing how you are already choosing to love yourself can be an empowering discovery. Recreate and repeat your discoveries.
4. What do you believe about loving yourself?
Sometimes, whether consciously or not, we have rules, conditions, and beliefs about what it means to love ourselves. We put limitations on ourselves and judge how we choose to love. If you believe it’s selfish to love yourself, you’re going to have a hard time understanding why all your attempts at showing yourself kindness are falling short.
5. What rules or conditions can you release to love yourself even more?
Are there things you believe about self-love that don’t serve you anymore? My guess would be yes. Being curious enough to uncover the beliefs, rules, or conditions you are currently holding can be a powerful step to getting out of your own way. Write down what you would like to release and think of one step to start the journey.
6. How do you unconditionally love those closest to you?
When we have a hard time wrapping our heads around loving ourselves, it can be eye-opening to think about how we love other people. Many times, we’re able to freely love those closest to us but refrain from showing ourselves the same kind of love. Think about your closest relationships. What does it look like for you to love someone close to you? What does it feel like? After becoming aware of the patterns you notice, begin thinking how can you start to love yourself in that way.
7. What do you need to be more at peace with yourself?
Is there anything tugging on your heart that you know you need to do to be more at peace with yourself? Maybe it is telling someone the truth, setting up boundaries for yourself, or even taking an honest look at your current self-care practices and making changes as you see fit. Is there anything you could do today to act on that and live from a place of love instead of fear?
8. What am I holding onto that isn’t serving me anymore?
Self-love requires a relentless pursuit of acting on your own behalf and taking care of yourself, even when it’s hard. This sometimes looks like letting things go. Is there anything you’re holding onto or are afraid to let go of that isn’t serving you anymore?
“Self-love requires a relentless pursuit of acting on your own behalf + taking care of yourself, even when it’s hard.”
9. What do you value about yourself?
Discover what you value about yourself as a person. Is it your kindness, your honesty, your ability to tell the truth to others, or your loyalty to friends? Ponder what it is you value about yourself and get really honest about what you find.
10. What fulfills you?
Are there certain things you do that make your soul sing? Are you doing them often? How could you incorporate them into your life more?
If you aren’t sure what fulfills you, take a moment to think about how you spend your time. What do your days, evenings, and weekends look like? Is that way of living currently fulfilling you? If not, what can you change and create in your life to find more fulfillment?
11. What is your truth (or essence) when everything else is stripped away?
It’s time to discover who you take yourself to be. Not the person your parents say you are, not the person your friends think you are, but who you know, deep down in your bones, that you are. Who is that person? What is your truth?
12. How can I change the way I’m feeling right now?
In order to love yourself, you need to be aware of how to move through your feelings. Is there something that helps you move through emotions instead of dwelling in them? Maybe it is going outside, stepping out of your current environment, having a cry, or even talking to a friend. Recreate and repeat what works for you. Or try these 5 creative self-care practices out.
13. What do you do to make yourself feel better?
Self-love requires a loving, conscious shift whenever you find yourself in a state of fear instead of love. Getting stuck in negative energy (or dwelling) isn’t something that serves you long term. Knowing how to make yourself feel better, shift to a more positive state, and learn from the experience is valuable knowledge in your self-love tool belt. Begin getting curious about what makes you feel better when you’re down.
14. What is something you have always wanted to try but never have?
Identifying untapped interests and passions is one of the best ways to strengthen self-love. Is there something you’ve wanted to do for years but never had the courage to do? Jumping in with both feet can be a huge way to show yourself some love.
15. How could you love yourself enough to ….forgive yourself, nourish yourself, move your body, feed your soul, live in the moment?
What are the steps you could begin taking NOW to start loving yourself enough to take care of yourself the way you deserve?
There you have it! As you do with any journey, it’s important to just begin. Do one thing to begin moving forward + start putting yourself first. Let go of fear + start getting curious about how to treat yourself the way you deserve. The key is to begin, no matter how small the step may be.
Want to take your journey even farther? Download the free 3-day journal guide for nourishing self-care to align with your truth + discover who you truly are.